good time Tale – What’s fun?

As I sat on my bed last Thursday watching my daughter count Bosco’s nipples,  I realized I needed to get out for the night. STAT.

It just so happened I had already made dinner plans for the following eve with a wonderful friend I hadn’t seen in quite some time. Now dining out is not usually my thing. I always hear my father’s voice in the back of my head saying “chew your food a thousand times” so this is all I think about during meals and I am a very slow eater. However, I was thrilled to finally catch up with this friend at a local restaurant on Friday. 

 As we headed inside she commented as to “how surprised” she was that I had never been there before. As soon as I saw what I was walking into I laughed and told her I was surprised I was here even now, as I immediately remembered this was the place where my friend Steve said he’d almost lost an eye once. 

It was absolutely the most gorgeous establishment, with waterfalls flowing, quaint tables… but we walked right past all of that to the “special seating” she had reserved for us in the football field size room with shouting and cheering. Heading in, I could feel my anxiety level rising. Next thing I knew I was rubbing shoulders, literally, with complete strangers sitting ’round a Hibachi waiting to have our food freshly prepared while being entertained by the Japanese Chef, wishing I was home counting nipples on my dogs.

First of all, the clanking of the stainless steel utensils against the grill sounded just like the crashing noise Layla makes when she kicks her water dish because Bosco drinks both of their waters constantly, so that’s her way of signaling me she needs more.  It echos throughout the entire house, and is the most annoying sound, EVER. Also, I bang my own pots and pans at home.  So do my kids whenever they crash all their dishes they have been storing in the rooms into the kitchen sink. So sorry, but I was not impressed. Looking around, I noticed most folk  had colorful drinks in fishbowl sized glass-ware. Perhaps that would have changed my perspective a bit.

In any event, next the flames starts going.  Holy Hysterectomy this shit was hot! I shouted out it was good thing I don’t wear a weave, and pushed my seat back a good foot away from the rest of the gang. I waved my hand to the signal Chef, that NO I wanted no Sake squirted at me.  Then food started flying.  It was NO again. I definitely didn’t want broccoli thrown down my throat. Isn’t this a choking hazard?  At that moment I made a BIG note to self: Unless I am completely annihilated NO never, EVER again.

I do well realize it is ME with the issue here. No one has ever accused me of being outgoing. In fact, I am borderline anti-social.

So what exactly is my idea of a fun?

Spa? Nah. I do massage for therapeutic purposes only. As far as mani-pedis,  I just cannot be bothered with all that nonsense.  I had my nails professionally painted exactly once, and it took me all of 30 seconds to ruin it. I think the manicurist was more upset than I was. Of course now with my Comso Girl practicing on me who knows?  Maybe I will change my mind and actually run a Salon with her one day.  I do get down with the wax… everyone knows this by now. I am a do-it-yourselfer. Obsessed with it with actually, and carry wax strips with me everywhere. I also offer them to anyone who I think may want or need them. Just because I am cool like that.

Though I am not a skinny-mini I love to exercise and can make an outing out of exercise alone. I will also try to coerce anyone into joining me in my latest obsession. I have run the full gamut from Adventure Bootcamp to Tae-Bo to Kickboxing to Box-fit. My latest thing is Zumba and I schedule people at work to go with me. Of course I am just getting back into the swing of things now, and I am sure they are oh-so-thrilled: Next Tuesday, 7:45 PM be there!

I grew up dancing so I am also dropping into classes of various Dance Genre these days. I am, however, very particular about choreography and in only in recent years have I found an instructor who holds adult classes which I think are fabulous.  I am an absolute Lone Ranger when it comes to my power walks or when I get down for a private session in my living room with Billy Banks.

Fun? Yes. How about really getting OUT for a  good time? Very simple. Girls Night Out.  My ladies, laughs, dancing, and drinks.“Always Hotter, Never Older” is my mantra, and I cannot foresee when we will ever be too old for a GNO.  These occasions are not very frequent, but I try to get out at least  five times a year or so for an evening of dancing with the ladies. The only LOUD noise I want to hear is some groovy music, and the sound of our heels pumping to the back-beat of the bass. Of course I no longer bump and grind as I did in my twenties. I neither booty-pop, nor titty bounce, but definitely shake what I got -because I can.

Of course I am fully aware I am the mother of three children ages 20, 17, and 9. Just because I had no idea that I wasn’t supposed to be shopping in the Junior’s Department until my daughter pointed it out to me a few weeks ago, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to conduct myself with class. 

However, please DO NOT call me a Cougar. I am a MILF. Don’t get it twisted;)

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