skyrocketing Tale – Heat and all Rising

Did I just say Happy Summer? Ya well I’ve changed my mind. I’m ready for Fall already.

For one thing, my house is a complete disaster. I thought my migraine medicine had cured my OCD and made me not give a rat’s ass, but it’s reached the breakthrough point. Unless someone is going to do an intervention tonite, I will be up ’til dawn cleaning this mess. It looks like someone set-off a grenade of schoolwork in my living room. I seriously think my son hoarded every single paper all year-long in his cubby, and just brought them home today. BOOM! Paper explosion!

Also, it’s hella-hot. I am sweating my ass off, and I don’t like it.  My dogs don’t either. It’s hard to breath. For all three of us. They have Boxer muzzles, and I have a deviated septum. Same issue. We can’t breath for shit when the temperature rises out there. While I do have bullet-proof glass in my bedroom window, I do not have an AC which will fit into it. So I sweat it out spread eagle on my bed at night, while the dogs pant sprawled across the floor. Yup, that’s how we do it here.

I was considering getting central AC as most of my neighbors do, since I already have forced air and it would only be a few thousand dollars. Only that few thousand dollars always needs to go elsewhere…and those thousands have seemed to steadily climb by the millisecond today as follows:

My son needed care and entertainment for the Summer. So I signed him up for full-time camp for most of it. Cost me quite the pretty penny. Today, I thought I should read over all the paperwork again just to be sure I hadn’t missed anything. And there it is, on the back:  Campers must wear the designated color for their group each day. Not colors, but COLOR. And his color is yellow.

Imagine? My son does not have a single yellow garment in his ENTIRE wardrobe except for one Camp Shirt. But that he is supposed to wear once a week on Field Trip day. Are you shitting me? Where the freak am I going to buy a bunch of yellow stuff. I shop at Marshall’s, on the clearance rack. It’s looking like I am buying some Hanes T-shirts, plain white socks, and yellow Rit Dye.

Yellow Fellow he will be.

Next, I decide to listen to my home voice mails which I do about once a month. My kids are constantly hiding the phones so I never know where they are, never hear the phone ring, and by the time I find them again I have about 30-40 messages, and no I am not exaggerating.

Sorry. If you need me, call the cell.

One voicemail was from the vet. Calling about my dog Layla, and her chronic UTI infections which we have been trying to get to the bottom of for about two years.

Now I have followed all advice from the various Veterinarians thus far as it seemed to make sense including, the ultrasound of  her kidneys (no abnormalities were noted), the special diet, different antibiotics, using baby wipes to lessen bacteria in the area, etc. However, when I listened to the message today from the brand new vet it just sounded, well, odd.

They have come to the conclusion that she needs labia surgery, and for a cool grand it can be resculpted. Woow. I can only imagine just how thrilled she will be aboutthat. I realize I am no vet, but she is a Boxer, and pretty exposed down there. I don’t know that she even has a labia. I think I need a second opinion. Either way, it is sounding like surgery is in my poor old girl’s future:(

To top it off, my daughter’s college heart attack bill arrived today. I always know it’s coming, but I never quite believe it until I see it. And yes, they did raise the tuition $8,000 since last year. This is why I love doing the count down. Two years down, Two to go.

Well at least I am oh-so-fortunate to have my Cosmo Girl who can color my greys for me.

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