pandemic Tale – Worry Worts

There has been a pandemic sweeping through my house as of late, affecting both children and dogs alike. Oh ya, and me.

For one, Layla has been barking at herself in the mirror quite a bit lately. The first time she did it a few months back, I figured it was the age thing. I mean she had been looking into the same full length mirrored door for 7 years. Then one morning she just woke up, looked at herself, and gave a long low growl. Like she just didn’t like what she saw anymore. I got it. I know just how that feels. But nooow she is like startled, actually jumping back at the sight of herself. Wonder if my poor old coot is worrying?

At the mall, my son, who is usually fearless hesitated to get on the escalator. He did about ten false starts before he finally stepped on. Oi vey. I started hearing that Cat Stevens song play in my head. “My boy was just like me – My boy was just like me…”

Wooow. I know there are theories as to whether anxiety is hereditary, due to life experiences or both. Now it’s really got me thinking.

Both my middle daughter and I can be slightly anxious. Hey it’s ok. We do share a laugh over a worry or two. Laughter is absolutely the best therapy after all. Isn’t it? Even her “Behavioral Therapist” agrees it can be quite helpful, and she gives me chuckles aplenty.

For one, she is quite keen on checking all the food expiration labels in our house. She ensures we will not eat anything out of date. Milk? Well this requires a date check and a sniff. Yet still she will ask me every day if it’s good. I always tell her I’m sure it is. What is funny is that she knows I don’t drink milk. Never have. I think milk is absolutely, positively gro-oss,  but she always asks me if it’s “good.”

She’s just too cute! On Monday she sends me an urgent text while I am in meeting at work. She advises me my son is eating a muffin he found in the fridge, but she doesn’t know how old it is so she isn’t sure if it he should eat it or not. See the problem? No label. I text her back, “He will be a-ok, thanks for checking:)”

Then, tonite she comes downstairs and asks me where her ear canal is. Well this is random I think. “Why do you ask I?,” I say. She tells me she has just read a box of Q-tips, and it says not to put them in your ear canal, and she is worried because she is afraid she may have already done so. I nearly bust a gut.

Ummm, well, yes. In nearly 18 years, I am afraid we cannot begin to count the amount of Q-tips that have gone into her canal. I tell her we will table the ear canal discussion for another night. Not to stress right now. So long as she can hear me talking and nothing hurts, she is fine. Don’t stick any more Q-tips in her ears, like the box says, if she is concerned though.

Of course we do share some of the same worries.

Let’s talk about critters. She doesn’t do them. Neither do I. Yet they also seem to freakin’ camp out here over.

Ever seen a Gecko? Well one somehow found its way into my room once. It looked just like the one from TV. It’s eyes followed me around the room and I seriously thought it was going to start talking to me. I snatched an empty rubbermaid bin and covered him up until help could be summoned. Turns out, they aren’t even supposed to live in these parts. wtf??! He was just one of many strange creatures.  Fortunately, now most are scared away or eaten by Bosco.

Ahh, yes, and there is there is that driving thing. Who is going to drive Miss. Daisy? That is the running  joke at work. After 11 years, the secret is out, they ALL know I avoid the highway like the plague. However, sometimes I have to put my big girl panties on, and buck it up because I do have places to go.

Fortunately those occasions are few and far between, and luckily my Junior is often with me -and assists greatly. During one journey, I pulled up to the toll booth to pay. After sitting for a few moments confused, I turned to my daughter and asked, “Where do I put the money?” She replied, “Mommy didn’t you see the EZ Pass, No Cash sign?” She further explained, “That means you can’t pay here.”

Ohhh, well I’ll be diggity-danged. Is THAT what that sign meant?

Mind you this girl at 17, who is old enough to have her license, has not even asked to get her permit yet, but can explain all the traffic regs to her mother who has been driving, kind of, for 25 years!

I laughed so hard, I forgot to be scared when I backed up on the highway to get in the CASH line.

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