maniac Tale – Can’t get Enough

After weeks of feeling like I was a foreigner in my own body suddenly,”The Mummy Returned.” 

As if a switch has been turned back on, I have my boundless energy back. I’m just not so sure everyone else in my household is as thrilled as I am.

I actually thought the kids would be ecstatic.

After all, Princess Grace had resorted to eating chicken sausages. This despite swearing off meat since the age of six.  And just this morning, my skinny-minnier-me daughter announced she had eaten nothing all day long yesterday except for three bowls of croutons.

Ok, so I’ve been a bit behind the eight-ball lately. In my own defense, I did pick up a cucumber last night on my way home from Zumba Class.

However, this AM when I leapt out of bed at the crack of dawn no one was exactly excited to see me. “You wanna go out?,” I asked my loyal Boxers quite cheerily. Layla gave me a dirty look, but didn’t budge. Bosco did get up, greeted me briefly by snorting some drool into my face, then promptly returned to join Layla back in their bed.

Wow, I guess they really got used to my lazy ass getting up at 7 AM instead of 6.

I knew my son was awake as he usually rises by 5:30 AM or so to watch instructional videos on U-tube, ie. How to make Darth Paper finger puppets using an entire ream of Mommy’s printer paper. Soooo I called up to him and asked if he was ready to kick-off a little Bootcamp. “Huh?” was the muffled response I received.

He sounded like he had forgotten ALL about Mommy’s Bootcamp Program.

Bootcamp is what I do with my kids when they start lazing around, watching too much TV, arguing, complaining, making messes for me to clean-up. Pretty much sums up what they have done for the entire first week school has been out.

Phase I of Bootcamp involves a warm-up where they have to clean up any disasters they have created. For instance, my son loves causing Lego tornadoes in various locations of the house. My daughter usually has a flip-flip pile waiting for me trip over in the living room. Hence, during this first phase, all these messes must be quickly excavated, and all items returned to their designated locations.

In Phase II we commence a 2-3 mile walk. While I usually power-walk on my own, these family walks are great for the kids to get their energy out. I usually end up by myself anyway. My daughter, aka the gazelle, takes two strides and is half a mile ahead of me. Yes at 5’8″ 111 lbs., I call her “my genetic miracle.” My son tends to lag slightly behind me, unless of course he feels like antagonizing his sister. Usually though, he will find some stick to start poking shit with as he walks along, talking to himself…shamelessly chatting aloud I might add (something he has picked up from his mother).

During Phase III we cool-down with a shower, and get dressed for the day. They can play. Outside, or quietly upstairs if I am working from home. Is nice sometimes on weekend days too. But until today it just hadn’t happened around here for quite some time, so I definitely heard the back-lash. I understand my crew got used to me being slow and sluggish. I know for me 8 weeks seemed like an eternity. But was it really that long for them as well? I guess it was.

I just found it hysterical even my dogs were annoyed. Layla always insists on following me around. Today however, as she followed, she kept giving me those sullen stares. Just as soon as she had stationed herself wherever I was, plopped down and kicked her bad hind leg out (due to an acl repair), I was up and dashing off again. But she MUST get up and follow! Love my old girl.

Bocso, well he’s a Dude. So long as he is in the general vicinity, he’s good. He thought he was being real slick today though. Trying to slow me down by blocking my path to the stairs. He drapped himself across a step, and did not move even when he saw me coming up on him. I had to command him to uncock-block me and allow me to pass.

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna to break my stride – Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh no – I got to keep on movin’… “

~ Matthew Wilder, Greg Prestopino

Also, since I was forbidden to dance for 6 weeks, then too sick for another 2,  I am now a total maniac looking for those Dance Classes. Already signed up for unlimited classes in July and August, so will do the Ballet, Belly-Dancing,  Hip-Hop, Piloxing, and of course Zuuummmbbaaaa.

Now this Zumba has turned into an absolute obsession. In order to feed the need  as well as the times I can attend, in addition to the Dance Studio, I am running to two different gyms. I just cannot get me enough of that Latin Flava. It’s funny at the gym classes I have tried, some of the young regulars glance at the old lady at the back of the room. Give me a second girls, I will show you how it’s done. 

Seen you trying to switch it up but girl you ain’t that dope – I’m a Wonder Woman, let me go get my rope –

I’m a Supermodel and mami, si mami…”    ~ Nelly Furtado    

If it is truly a Zumba class anyway.  Have to get some soca, salsa, mambo, sambo, merengue, and of course Zumba should always have some hip-hop too. I have been to a few classes which are really just an aerobics class and they forget the Latin piece altogether. Hello? Me and Jane Fonda can do aerobics at home in my living room. For free.

Although I did love my Jane Fonda videos. Just 30 minutes of her each day kept me skinny as a rail for years. Even after two babies. Well that, and eating absolutely nothing but raw veggies. The last nutritionist I saw shook a bag of lettuce at me, then held up a palm sized piece of the fake rubber chicken, telling me THIS is what I need to eat.

Uh-huh, I do, with a side of bleu cheese dressing… and croutons;)

Diet-Tribe. Next on the agenda.

2 Comments

  1. Love this “tale” I could picture the Legos and flip flops and drooling dog!

    • Glad you liked:) Yep my crew can upturn this flat in seconds, and the dogs are more than happy to help! Luckily though my Boxers aren’t too “drooly” but when Bosco does his snort thing…it’s just nasty because he comes really close to my face first. Ewwwee!

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