perv Tale – Please back Up

I have heard the term “Chic Magnet.” One may envision “The Fonz” of beholding such stellar status. Yes?

Well how about Perv Magnet? Is there prestige of any proportion associated with such flattery? I think not.

Sadly, this is what I have become as I late, and quite frankly I am just not in the mood.

Let’s face it, any man can be a pervert every now and again. The octopus hands. Taking pictures of the tatas without asking.  Catching your spouse filming you on his phone while you are walking around the house stark naked.Ya know, that type of thing?

However, a complete and total perv staring me down is another whole level of creepiness altogether.

Take for an instance a business trip I went on last winter. Of course, being a professional I assumed I would encounter only professionalism. While I did for the most part, the direct report of one of the clients I was working very closely with was an older gentlemen. Quite the nice fellow. And also quite the pervert.

On Day two of my visit I had to work in very close proximity of both this perv and his boss.  A woman whom, like myself, was strictly business.  All day long I was in very tight quarters trying to take care of, uh, business. However, “Hebert the Pervert” who was standing directly beside his boss continually stared at my chest.

Ok I get it, boobs are distracting. Soo I stepped to the side in an attempt to break his stare. No dice. Herbert’s eyes followed. No shame in his game! Fortunately, his boss was on to Herbert’s antics, and announced she would not make me sit next to him at lunch. For the entire week during breaks I hissed and fumed to my co-worker. Why is he staring at my tits? Why can’t he stare at your ass? 

Nooow, just recently I have encountered another perv. This time it’s at the Gym where I like to focus on one thing and one thing only. Dancing my ass off! In fact, that is exactly what I told the Young Buck who said he needed to know my “reason for joining.” LOL!

In any event, twice this week alone, precisely mid-point through Zumba, this new perv comes sauntering into the ginormous dance studio, and not only stations himself right next to the girl who attends class with me, but also shadows me throughout the remainder of the class.

I have attempted to stare him down, but he just grins.  He is not quite close enough for me to air-kick away, which I have been known to do when someone is crowding my comfort-zone. I have even tried spinning some sweat onto him, but he seems not to notice.

Since none of the aforementioned have worked, if he does it for a third time, I will show up for the next class with the following printed on the back of my T-shirt:

Dear Pervy Guy at the Gym,

While I am sure all the ladies are absolutely thrilled to have you join in half-way through Zumba Class, can you please NOT stand right next to Kerry AND directly behind my shaking ass in a room big enough for 500? It has been three times now, and you are seriously creeping me out.

Thanks!

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