routine Tale – It’s all Good

So things are back to normal around my crib again.

Well, I don’t know if normal is exactly the correct word to use when describing the flow in my household. But at least we have a routine again. Albeit a new one.

The dogs and I are presently sleeping in the living room. I upon a ginormous blow-up mattress I borrowed from a friend. It’s all good, except Bosco is not completely comfortable with the new sleeping arrangements just yet. He longs for his former sleeping quarters downstairs. So he whines and paces throughout the night. Not to mention he is now ONE level closer to those frickin’ hamsters.

Layla is just so much more chill. Except for of course when I was finally able to get her an appointment to see the Veterinarian who specializes in the labia resculpting.

She was not at all happy to meet him. In fact she gave him a downright nasty stare throughout the entire examination. He even commented on it, saying perhaps he shouldn’t stare back. Ya maybe, um, not right now when you are, uh, touching her labia. Like myself, she is very wary of strangers, particularly when they are men. He is hoping they will become friends though (which I’m sure they will), and feels this rejuvenation will surely cure her ailment. He even offered her a discount. Works for me!

I do hate putting her through the surgery. However, upon consulting another Vet it seems the best option to cure the UTI’s which have been chronically afflicting her for the past two years. Her recovery period is going to be a challenge as I will have to keep Bosco from either“assisting” or taking advantage of her without getting over-involved in their “co-existence” as they usually get along quite well. Sometimes with Bosco though, I am just not quite certain of what exactly he will do.

Just like when I bought them both quite expensive coats to keep them warm if they wanted to go out in the yard during winter.  The VERY first time I put it on Bosco, in just seconds he was trying to wrangle himself out of it. Of course he couldn’t. Eh-heh sucker, I thought. Well he sure showed me! He ripped off Layla’s coat, and tore it into a million pieces all over the yard. Ya thanks man.

Don’t bother trying to chase him. He knows we can’t catch him. It’s just a game. Grandad tried chasing him down once when he got a hold of the turkey giblet bag. Back and forth he went, shaking that raw turkey neck one Thanksgiving.

Therefore, I do have some concerns. The last time Layla had surgery she was fitted with a cone (as she will for two weeks following this one). She came home very groggy, disoriented, and of course -could not see well around the cone. For just a minute, I thought perhaps her side-kick Bosco would pity her. Not. He thought, hmmm…well if she can’t see, she can’t see me coming for her food. Right yes, ’tis how it works in the pack hierarchy.

She was not down for long though, and quickly reestablished her role as second in command (after me of course). 

So I will be taking a day or so off right after Layla’s surgery to keep a very close eye on things. Which is good, as I do have other things to catch up on around here. The carpet crew found the garment bag of things needing mending I had forgotten about been trying to forget about. It’s not that I don’t know HOW to sew. I just hate it with a passion, and will avoid it at ALL costs.

There I’ve said it. It’s ALL out in the open. I even had a stand-off with the Home Economics teacher back in Middle School, and outright refused to finish sewing that stupid stuffed cupcake. It’s annoying and boring and frustrating to ME!  Of course I appreciate anyone else who does sew or knit or anything of the like. Especially all you rockin’  Designers out there. Love to see your stuff!

And no, it’s not that I am not creative. I just tell folks I’d much rather use my creative energy for writing;)

However, I am actually artistic. Sometimes. I do my own calligraphy when the spirit moves me, which is not very often. Also, I made a ScrapBook. Once. It did take me 30 days and 30 nights. Literally. It may very well be the only one I ever make, but the woman I designed it for was very special and well-deserving.  Each of my children have handmade Christmas Stockings too, so I have been known to create a thing or two.

My children are artistic as well. All three of them. Even though my oldest is a Biology Major in college, she takes art classes any chance she gets. My second daughter, actually DOES sew, as well as draw and anything else artsy-crafty. Also my son, was quick to point out that while he scored only a 2 in Self-control in the Classroom, he earned a solid 4 in Effort in Art. Did I mention my boy takes after me?

In any event, just because I don’t like to sew does not mean I don’t have to. So I will get cracking on this bag of mending while Layla recoups. I did come up with a really cool way of  fixing hem-lines which requires not a single stitch what-so-ever.

One morning at work I discovered I had a wardrobe malfunction. My entire zipper had removed itself from the seam. The zipper itself was completely intact, but the stitching from one side of the pants had just come loose. What’s a girl to do? Of course safety pins were my first thought, so I started whispering quietly shouting out to see if anyone had any.

One of my staff quickly offered one up. Not enough. Next I submitted a high priority request to our fabulous Operations Staff seeking safety pins. Apparently, the gents did not have any on hand as I did not hear back. Just as I was contemplating going home to change,  I walked by another Staff Member’s desk, and spotted his brand spanking new stapler. Ah-ha!

Minutes later I was stapling my zipper back into place in the women’s locker room.  Annnd while stepping out of my pants with my shoes still on I pulled the hem, so I fixed that too!

Now I usually hem all my pants with staplers. In fact, I carry a mini-one in my purse at all times in case of any future wardrobe malfunctions. Although my middle daughter (the one who sews) did call me a whack-job, I was only mildly annoyed. Especially after I caught her doing the same thing one time.

FYI…to color the staples, use a Sharpie the same color as the pants. Who says I’m not creative?

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