LOL tale – Laugh Out Loud
“Mommy’s always laughing,” my son said the other day. True. I do have the sense a humor of a teenage boy and cannot help that I am easily entertained. Besides, I know some hilarious mother-fruckers. How can I not Laugh Out Loud all day long?
My children? Well they deserve their own tale, so let’s keep it moving…
Like my Staff. All very hard-working, exceptionally talented but keeping up with their texts and g-chats is rather amusing as they are usually reporting what I have done, haven’t done, what they are doing, and/or who or what is annoying them. Whether I am at work, they are at work. Or not.
On any given day, without any given notice, I will receive messages such as the following:
– fyi, i feel fat today
– you just ass dialed me btw lol
– i don’t like this Google update, so i sent it back
– no one will cover me
– X’s phone is ringing too loud
– your schedule says you are on and off on the same day. fyi.
– shoot me. X is e-mailing me engagement rings.
– you booked a meeting at your desk. no room!
– so no joke, just saw X cleaning her ears in the cafe with a straw. I want to go home.
– Blues is on his Bluetooth at his desk yelling at a credit card company. These people. I swear.
– According to FB you’re at Victoria’s Secret. Find me a hot chic buying sexy lingerie. Thanks
And my Boss… Will never call me out exactly, but tactfully point out my missteps: “Hi there, Great work! Nice details. In your summary below did you call this ‘The Google’ Meeting?” Ya I did. Because after 17 hours of Google crashing I was chanting “Bite Me Google” and then presto like MAGIC I wrote it down. Bahahahaha. Doesn’t that happen to everyone?
Or at the office one day when I decided to saunter into the Mother’s Room (before I realized everyone used it as a dressing room after hours). There on the chair was my long-lost sweater. I immediately starting laughing so hard I had to take a seat. Funny why? Well it had been a good 10 years since I’d nursed a baby.
Then I noticed the upgrades. Fridge. Ok ya. That makes sense. But a TELEPHONE. What would one be needing with a phone while they are in there pumping milk?!? To…Call for help? Phone for pizza? Answer a page? Whoa wait, do people actually take calls in here now. Shit I know we have to multi-task…but SERIOUSLY?!?
I am cackling away when one of my Staff walks in and says, “Ya I figured it was you in here laughing by yourself.”
So of course I feel compelled to explain. Snickering she responds, “Well why don’t you just send a message to Operations and ask why they put a phone in here like you always do when you want something.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
She says, “Oh like remember the time your shirt busted open in front of everyone and you e-mailed OPS to report you had a “wardrobe malfunction.” THAT’s why we gave you the Wardrobe Emergency Kit for Christmas with the double-sided tape.